Rejected And Abandoned Articles, Volume One, 1 – 5

Rejected And Abandoned Articles, Volume One, 1 – 5
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We often have ideas which initially sound great but are actually horrible and sometimes offensive. Here are some of our rejected and abandoned articles.

1.) Exploring successive @donaldtrump Twitter handles, starting with @donaldtrump1

Status: Abandoned

Why? Initially we thought this would be a great idea, and got kinda far in the article prep, too. The premise was to cycle up through all the twitter handles that had a base of @donaldtrump, until we ran into a vacant one, which we figured would be a while. @donaldtrump was purchased by Donald in 2016 which the article first explains before jumping into @donaltrump1, @donaldtrump2, @donaldtrump3.

After @donaldtrump2 we stopped giving each entry a spot in the article, because there wasn’t really much there. We got up to about @40 with really no interesting finds. We then went for the obvious, @donaldtrump45 and that was boring too, so we decided that article was a dud.

Not only would the piece have been a slog to read, cycling up until we found an unused handle might have made us crazy…

2.) Vietnam Flashback Meme Videos

Status: Rejected

One of our writers pitched an article titled, “Vietnam Flashback Videos We Found On Youtube.” Most of these videos are of cats spliced with horrific footage. It’s pretty obvious why quickly shot this one down.

3.) Gangrene On A Persons Face…

Status: Very Quickly Abandoned

My friend Joel’s step-dad has diabetes. The guy also hates the fuck out of going to the doctor. One can understand that we guess, unless it looks like your foot is about to fall off.

The poor dude ignored the shit out of his foot until it was basically rotting off of his body. In a nutshell, that’s pretty much what gangrene is. Web MD says:

Gangrene is a condition that occurs when body tissue dies. It is caused by a loss of blood supply due to an underlying illness, injury, and/or infection. Fingers, toes, and limbs are most often affected, but gangrene can also occur inside the body, damaging organs and muscles. There are different types of gangrene and all require immediate medical attention.

Long story short, Joel’s step-dad ended up losing about half of one of his feet, and that was actually the good outcome. It could have been so much worse.

In discussing the incident with Joel we wondered other body parts could get gangrene, and made the mistake of doing an internet for “Gangrene on Face.” It was awful.

A month later I remembered the conversation when pondering a topic to write about. For some reason I forgot how awful those pictures were. Lookup “Gangrene on Face”, if you dare.

4.) Unruly Stowaway Tries To Make A Penpal… A Prison Penpal…

Status: Rejected and Abandoned

This was an article that I was at first really gun-ho about. I found an penpal site for incarsarated people and started searching through.

Initially my thought was, “Wow, if I’m gonna do this I need to go big or go home and find a murderer to correspond with.” Moral arguments quickly squashed that line of thinking and I began to try to reason about what was the most serious crime someone could commit where I wouldn’t feel bad about the project. Quickly, my will for the idea began to fade.

What broke the back on this one was this news article: Man killed prison pen pal, boyfriend and left them in Parma Heights home for a month, police say

Not one of our best ideas….

5.) In Memorandum Videos Set To The Tune Of The Jim Carroll Band’s “People Who Died.”

Status: Strongly Suggested Against, So Abandoned

Can I just say, I love this song. When I listen to the song it sometimes makes me think of all those Oscar and Emmy memorandum videos because, well, those are all about “people who died, who died.”

For the article we were going to take one of those famous memorandum videos and set it to the song. While this is very much a comedy site, this topic was abandoned because it’s location way too far on the end of the dark comedy spectrum.

Curious how that would have went? Here is a link to the (wonderful) Carroll Band song. Head to Youtube and find a in memorandum vid and put it on mute while playing our song. (The Emmy ones work well because they tend to be fast paced, but you didn’t hear that from us.

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Steven Richard

Steven Richard is the publisher here at Unruly Stowaway. He has written a memoir which will be released one day.

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